Few topics are harder to talk about than sepsis, stillbirth and early neonatal loss. Families often describe a deep sense of “if only we’d known” when they look back on their pregnancy or neonatal journey. These experiences are devastating, and while not all losses are preventable, many parents later learn that the warning signs were there but were not recognised, acted on, or explained clearly enough.
Why sepsis is still missed in maternity and neonatal care
Sepsis moves fast. In both mothers and babies, symptoms can develop and deteriorate within hours. The challenge is that early sepsis can look like common pregnancy or newborn issues. Families often say they felt something was wrong but were not sure if it “counted”.
Key signs in mothers can have include:
- Fever, feeling very hot or very cold.
- Rapid heartbeat or breathing.
- Severe abdominal pain.
- Shivering, flu-like symptoms or a sense of feeling acutely unwell.
- Reduced movements in labour or during induction.
- Vaginal discharge with an unusual smell.
In newborns, early sepsis is often subtle and can include:
- Poor feeding.
- Low temperature.
- Fast or noisy breathing.
- Grunting.
- Sleepiness that is “not normal”.
- Pale, blotchy or mottled skin.
Many parents later say that they did not realise just how seriously these signs should be taken, or they were not told to seek urgent help. Others describe raising concerns only to be told to wait and see.
Timely antibiotics save lives. Delay is the biggest risk.
The Sepsis Trust provides further details of the signs of sepsis in both adults and children.
Recognising potential warning signs of stillbirth
Stillbirth is complex and not always predictable, but reduced fetal movements remain one of the clearest warning signs that something may be wrong. Parents who have experienced stillbirth often say they wish they had known:
- Any reduction in movements after 28 weeks should be checked immediately.
- Movements do not “slow down” at the end of pregnancy.
- You should never be made to feel you are overreacting.
- You should always be offered CTG monitoring or an assessment the same day.
- Trust your instincts; you know your baby’s pattern better than anyone else.
The pregnancy and baby charity, Tommy’s, provides further details of stillbirth signs, symptoms and risks.
Parents also talk about other symptoms they did not recognise at the time, such as persistent headaches, blurred vision, sudden swelling, or upper abdominal pain, which can suggest pre-eclampsia and can affect placental function.
Early neonatal loss: when the signs are subtle and easily missed
For babies who become unwell shortly after birth, symptoms can be masked by the challenges of early feeding or settling. Parents often reflect that they were not given enough information to recognise concerning behaviour or “red flags” or understand that early concerns needed urgent review.
Warning signs include:
- A baby being unusually sleepy or difficult to wake.
- Poor feeding, especially if worsening rather than improving.
- Colour changes, including blue lips or greyish skin.
- A high or low temperature.
- Rapid breathing, flaring nostrils or grunting.
- Seizure-like movements or unusual stiffness/floppiness.
Many families say they wish they had pushed harder for review, but it should not fall on parents. Early neonatal deterioration should be met with swift escalation and senior review.
When instinct is dismissed
A recurring theme from families is that they sensed something was not right. They often say they wish they had insisted on being seen sooner, but this places unfair responsibility on parents. Clinicians are trained to recognise warning signs and escalation cues, and systems should support prompt assessment.
If you feel something is wrong and you are told to wait:
- Ask to speak to a senior midwife or doctor.
- Be clear about what has changed and when.
- If you are not satisfied with the response, go to triage, A&E or call 999.
- Document who you spoke to and what advice you were given.
No parent should feel they need to “justify” concern.
In addition, there is Martha’s Rule which gives patients, parents and families the right to ask for an urgent review by a different clinical team if they feel their medical concerns are not being listened to or are being dismissed.
In simple terms:
- If you are worried that someone is getting worse;
- You feel your concerns are not being taken seriously; then
- You can ask for a rapid second opinion from a senior clinician who is not already involved in their care.
It applies in NHS hospitals in England and is designed to empower families to speak up without fear of being seen as difficult.
You do not need to prove anything is wrong. You only need to be genuinely concerned.
Hospitals should:
- Display information about Martha’s Rule;
- Explain how to activate it, and
- Respond promptly once it is triggered.
It exists because families are often the first to notice when something is not right, and their voices matter.
Why these conversations matter
Talking about sepsis, stillbirth and early neonatal loss is uncomfortable, but avoiding the topic helps no one. Understanding warning signs empowers families. It also supports better national awareness and reinforces the need for services to respond quickly, sensitively and safely.
Many parents who share their stories say the same thing: they just want others to have the information they did not
Quote from Hannah Carr Legal Director and Specialist Medical Negligence Solicitor from MDS, said “By highlighting key red flags during pregnancy and in the first days of a baby's life, we hope to offer gentle guidance for families who feel something isn’t right. We also seek to acknowledge the emotional weight of these experiences and encourage parents to seek support, information and clarity when they need it.”
